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Same old song. Days off, didn't do shit. I lay part of the blame on having to close the day before a day off. I then promptly sleep through most of that day off. Of course, I can only blame myself when I turn out to be incapable of pulling an all-nighter in order to get needed tasks accomplished.
I'm just going to have to start being more rigid with myself, I guess. Since there are things I've been needing to do for literally several weeks running and still haven't been around / awake / available to do them.
Making a bunch of phone calls during 9-5 business hours won't take me long, but being awake and not at work during that time is very hard for me. It seems if I go to sleep earlier, I just sleep later and feel rested. While that's all well and good, it also doesn't help me much if I need to get up earlier. I really don't know what would, other than someone to harass me awake in the morning.
I think I might do well to take some and try to stay away from the computer and the TV... they seem to be my biggest time-sinks lately.
To top things off, I think my motivation has been gimped for the same reasons I find myself feeling extra-strongly antisocial and angry lately. Not sure exactly why it is, mind you, but it is. I'm just so sick and tired of everything I deal with on a daily basis. Hood rats, traffic, lack of money, the death of my dreams. It's just all snowballed into me being bitter and apathetic. Not to mention, hermit-like. While interaction at a distance doesn't bother me, the idea of being around anyone in person when not forced to be so is becoming more than more unappealing to me. To hell with people.
Updates here will continue to be sporadic for the foreseeable future. There's just nothing changing or happening in my life. And that doesn't seem likely to change any time soon.State Of Mind:  disappointed What's Playing: Covenant - Brave New World |
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I had a had time concentrating on work. I actually had crackhead bitch at me to keep moving. But there was nothing I could have done about it. I got twice as much sleep as is typical for me (six hours versus the normal 3-4) yet I still felt like shit all day.
We got mugged for boxes bad, so when box lady came, I didn't have much for her. So, I saved some more and brought them to her. She offered me food (as she typically does when I bring them to her) but I politely declined, since I was wanting to get home and collapse. Unusual for me, I usually hit her up for a couple of egg rolls or a bit of fried rice.
I was going to try my hand at making fried rice tonight, but I was too tired to stop at the store on the way home. So I'm going to do that on Wednesday instead.
I have a stupid goddamned mandatory sexual harassment class to go to on Thursday morning. At ten in the fucking AM. What the fuck? On my goddamned day off. It's my fucking day off, and I have to go in for two hours? This is bullshit. But I really don't expect anything else from this company anymore. So much for getting any decent rest this pseudo-weekend.State Of Mind: shitty What's Playing: Warp 11 - Baby Take Me to Your Nuclear Wessel |
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Being as today's Sunday, and tomorrow (er, today) is Monday... I'm going to try to get to sleep in a few. Figured I'd post here a quick one before I flopped.
Slow Sunday, though we did more than last year's numbers, surprisingly. I got bored and ran to the store to get a can of air freshener for our bathroom.
I forgot to mention in a previous post, we had The Duke come back for the first time in quite a while the other night. That was entertaining.
I lost my Hoti medallion that I got off of a bottle of Pyrat rum. I'm bummed, I only had it a couple of days. I'll have to snag another one.
Going to try my hand at making fried rice tomorrow.
Bill found a crapload of box wine that went out of date, and offered us some. I don't usually drink box wine, but I'll partake of it if it's free. Sure, why not? It's been a while since I've had white zin anyway.State Of Mind:  tired What's Playing: Styx - Suite Madame Blue |
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Another pseudo-weekend went *poof*.
I wanted to get some stuff done, but I still haven't taken the car in, made those calls, done some cleaning I've been needing to do, or a few other things.
My new toy arrived, so I got sidetracked getting that ready to use. I bought a used G4 Xserve for a song off of Ebay to replace the tired ghetto-rigged G4 I've been using for some stuff for a while now. The problem is, getting an OS on it is turning out to be quite a challenge. First, I forgot that the first couple of generations only had 24x CDROM drives. Not even a basic DVD reader. That shot holes in my plans. Then, I tired to boot from my Panther (10.3) Server CDs. Fail. Tried a bunch of other stuff, all failing. I got 10.4 server installed on it, by using the laptop and putting the Xserve into FireWire target disk mode. That is damned useful sometimes. I was going to put 10.5 Server on there, but when I boot up from the DVD, it bitches about the laptop not having a full gig of RAM. It only has 768MB. I've been meaning to upgrade it forever, so I said "fuck it" and bought a module. Two birds, one stone, and all that. So, that's on hold until I get that module.
Then on Tuesday, I had the best of intentions... but I got sidetracked when the rare (for me, these days) gaming bug hit. I ended up playing Spore the entire night. I actually had to stay up until after the sun came up just to finish the laundry and dishes so that I could use them. I was completely out of work shirts (two are now out of service do to giant, unrepairable rips) and had the coffeepot in the dishwasher.
Spore is fucking fun. And addictive as hell, as evidenced from the Tweets posted here about it. It's really an amazing game. Very involving. Strokes the ego to play god like that. I haven't enjoyed meddling in the life of lesser beings since Black & White was a hot game.
Have to work at store #95 tomorrow. So I'm going to hit the hay early tonight in hopes that I'll feel less dead than I did today. Anything is better than the 3.5 hours of sleep that I managed to grab. The fact that I was even able to stagger out of bed and go to work in the first place is a testament to my sheer force of will.State Of Mind: exhausted What's Playing: Bob Marley - I Shot The Sheriff |
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Ugh.
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Jun. 9th, 2009 @ 04:44 am
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I should have gone to bed like four hours ago. Tomorrow (technically today, by now) is going to royally suck ass.
Have that damned sales class, and then there's the usual Tuesday close shift. After that, I'm sure I'll sleep a very long time, through most of my day off.
UPS tried to deliver my new server today, but they came after 5PM (when the office was closed). So, they're going to try again tomorrow after 5PM. And I won't be home then, either. I'm going to want to be sure that I'm here to answer the door when they make the 3rd attempt on Wednesday, that's for damned sure.State Of Mind: tired What's Playing: Blue Öyster Cult - 7 Screaming Diz-Busters |
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I need to remember to take some time at work to call on that condo I'd like to know more about. Bill won't mind my taking the time, as much of a head start as we'll be having today.
Been spending a lot of time on my knees cleaning in preparation for "sparkle days" ("let's make a contest out of annual cleaning!"). It's good honest work, and I get to deal with customers less that way, so I don't mind.
I really need to go apply at Target, now that I'm certain that seasonal hiring is back in full swing again. I wish I could have done it last week. God damn that wine class. Speaking of bullshit wastes of time, I have to take a two hour bullshit class on sales techniques on Tuesday. I could have taken it Wednesday, but I'm not going to give up another day off just to piss away two hours in a classroom. I will however, lose three hours of sleep, since I have to be over to store 97 by 1PM. And of course, after the class, I work my regular close at my own store. So, get up two hours early, go to 97, sit through the damned class, and then work the 3-close (well, depending on travel time, it'll likely be more like 3:40-close) shift there. This will of course mean that I will sleep an ungodly long amount of time in a effort to catch up on the sleep I've lost during the workweek.
I wonder how I'll manage things if I do get the job at Target. And here I thought I had a hard time juggling things now.
I've noticed that I'm posting a lot less now that I have the Twitter feed auto-publishing here. It allows me to be more spur of the moment when something funny or interesting happens. But I do enjoy these longer posts, when I have the time to sit down and write them. I just feel odd when there really isn't much in my life to report on. It's not like I go anywhere or do anything exciting that I'm thrilled to share. I just go to work, deal with people (which generates loathing which surfaces here on occasion) come home, watch TV and/or play with my computer (since I'm never home to do anything that I need to do during 9-5 business hours) and sleep. What little time I have to deal with things like making phone calls about apartments or taking the car in for service, I usually end up sleeping through because of my inability to go directly to sleep when I get home on Tuesday nights. It's easier on Sundays (kind of) since I have a solid, known time I have to be awake for.
I've decided if I don't get a more physical second job, I'm going to join a gym, hell or high water. I'm actually starting to feel fat, and it's affecting my range of motion, as well as what I do. My diet is virtually unchanged from when I weighed 190 and felt "athletic", so it's merely the lack of exercise.State Of Mind:  rushed What's Playing: Covenant - Dead Stars |
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So, I'm not dead. I've been busy with the usual work/sleep bullshit, plus I was kept away from Internet things by Lorie's visit, which was fun.
Trying to get caught up on the stuff I let fall behind, as per usual. I have to take the car in for the parking brake. I have an estimate on that, it's $290. Ouchie.
Need to fuck with the OS X server. I think it ate it's filesystem during the last major point update. I went to power it back on, and it didn't work. I also finally got an SATA card for it, and I dropped the two spare 250GB disks I had in there, but only one showed up. Have to figure out why that is. Also, I have to find a way to force that machine into target disk mode, so I can use the laptop to install onto it. Stupid Apple restrictions... it might run slow, but that's not reason to arbitrarily decide to not allow it to run.
So, I have to make several phone calls on my day off, as well as take the car in. Oh, let's not forget that list of things to do around the house. And then, the technical projects that are lined up behind it. I'm going to be getting either very little of that done, or very little sleeping in done.
That's all for now, just wanted to drop a note in here with some basic stuff as a placeholder. I still have three longer (actually, very long) updates to come soon. That's part of the technical to-do list, as a matter of fact. Syracuse, Marci's trip here, and the most recent in the line, Lorie's visit. More will be coming on all of those real soon now(tm). so stay tuned.State Of Mind: drained What's Playing: Jonathan Coulton - Still Alive |
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Tried to get to sleep early (for a Sunday night) to no avail. Fucking wonderful. I will be a goddamned zombie at work later today. Hooray.
Defrag of the server's data drives is taking fucking forever. Running for over 24 hours, and it's only at 7%. This is the smallest drive in there, too. This is going to take ages.
Going to see Star Trek tomorrow. I'll post a review (behind a cut if there's spoilers) after.
Just updating this out of boredom. I really wish I could fall asleep right about now.State Of Mind: tired |
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Work's been... well, work. The usual bullshit. I know my job really isn't that bad, I just find it harder and harder to deal with as time goes by. I guess it's just me, and my inability or unwillingness to tolerate it.
Got something from corporate for my 1yr anniversary. Pin and a congratulatory certificate fake-signed by the company president (curse me knowing enough to look for ink smudges on a signature to confirm it's authenticity!). No raise, no free shirt. Be still my beating heart.
Slept like shit the last couple of days. Meant to go to sleep early last night, but gastric upset kept me from sleeping for several hours. So I sat up and played with the computer for a while. Tonight, I fell asleep on the couch, only to have to force myself awake to do laundry. I'm out of work clothes, so I didn't have a choice. I'd have rather have just moved from the couch to the bed, but that unfortunately was not an option.
Still having minor "technical difficulties". The server BSOD'd on me with a memory error, which was odd. But all trace of the fake disk corruption error messages is gone without a trace. So the major concern is no more.
The Treo is starting to do odd things. I'm tempted to wipe it out and start over from scratch. Probably be a lot faster and easier than fucking with the browser config files and the call log, since that's what's not behaving right. Though that'll have to wait until I have at least most of a day to devote to fucking with it.
Not really much going on, other than that. Still waiting to see if I can get a second job at Target. I won't know that until the seasonal hiring starts in June. Until then, I'm kind of in a holding pattern. I don't want to start anything I won't be able to finish.State Of Mind:  complacent What's Playing: Mest - 2000 Miles |
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Having to work a close shift on Tuesday is a challenge for me. I can't just walk in the door and go to bed, I need time to wind down from work. It's not like Target, where I could walk in and just drop down into bed. There's nowhere near as much physical labor, and a lot more psychological bullshit. So, I go to bed around 4AM (four hours or less after I walk in the door) and I find myself typically sleeping 12-14 hours, to make up for the sleep I've lost over the workweek. Normally I'd be just fine with that, but I increasingly have things to do during business hours that cannot be taken care of on work days. So, sleeping in past them is irritating and frustrating.
Yesterday, I attempted to call a loss, sleep in as late as possible, and just stay up the entire night (in order to force myself to get a very early start). Went down in flames when I passed out on the couch around 6AM.
I'd intended to:
Call a place about rhino-lining the rusted parts of the car.
Picking up the oil and filter for a my car's oil change.
Getting the oil changed.
Having the broken parking brake fixed while I was there.
Cleaning the car's windows.
Reading some piled-up stuff from my mother. She loves to send me crap I have no time to read.
Clean the smudges / dust off of the monitors and TV.
Clean the kitchen.
Install the "new" motherboard into the BeOS machine to play around with.
Check the brake fluid level in the car.
Possibly try to get a job at the giant law office across the street from where I presently work.
Buy flea powder and a flea collar for ford.
Go to my chiropractor appointment.
Set up a vet appointment for Ford. He's due for his bi-annual checkup.
Call Brighthouse Networks about getting basic cable hooked up at the $10/mo rate, since the digital box won't play nice with my DVR.
Do some laundry.
You can see why I might want to get an early start on that. Of course, none of that actually got done, since I slept in until about 6PM. I missed my appointment at the chiropractor, which I feel both guilty and bad about. My back is fucking killing me.
Nothing to be done about any of those until the following week, though. That's the earliest I'm going to have any time to really do anything. I wonder how much I'll be able to force myself to do then? I don't exactly have the best track record. It seems like every week I have a post like this one, griping about missing a similar set of opportunities.
What I did get done was to install the new RAM into the server. Thus ended the bullshit filesystem errors that I've been having. Very good, that. Also salvaged (and verified to work) the single old 512MB stick. Dropped that in the "TV" machine and tested. Works fine. The pair of no-name 256MB modules are both questionable. Probably both bad. Kingston definitely is starting to earn my loyalty.
Started on some backlogged paperwork that's been sitting on a box on my desk for ages. Trimmed the cat's claws. Cut my hair. Other than that, it was a very unproductive day.
Spent a large portion of it fucking with torrents. Transmission has been locking up my desktop when I try to run more than 10 concurrent transfers at once, if I try to do anything else with the machine. It'll sit there, the cursor will move and pinwheel away, but nothing else will happen. After however long it takes for me to get pissed off, I'll yank the power cord out in order to force a hard reset. Fortunately, utorrent's beta for OS X is out now. I've grown so used to Transmission, but uTorrent is fast and fucking tight-ass code. It loads into RAM before the dock icon can bounce once. So far, it's behaving itself and not pulling the same bullshit.
Oh, let's not forget the posts I keep promising here. That, and catching up on the two-month backlog of my webcomics. I've still got those to do as well. Christ, if there was two of me, I'd have enough to keep both of us busy.
Whenever I try to explain my situation to someone, I get a lack of sympathy. I don't know why I find life such a chore, and others manage to sail through it. But it's increasingly a source of irritation to me.State Of Mind: disappointed What's Playing: Alice In Chains - Them Bones |
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Closing really sucks. Ideally, to get enough sleep, I have to go to bed no later than 6AM (to be up by about 1PM or so).
By the time I get home, it's after midnight. Where the fuck does all the rest of the time that's in a day go?
Had a wicked craving for French's French Fried Onions while at work, so I stopped at the store on the way home to pick some up. Really hit the spot.
Going to try to "bank" some sleep tonight so that when Monday morning rolls around, I won't be a fucking zombie. Sherman and I have to go to this stupid mandatory meeting, so I have to drive out to W. Hillsboro in the morning instead of just coming in and starting the truck like I usually do. I just love breaks in my routine. It really sits well with an obsessive-compulsive like me.
A thought struck me on the way home tonight. I've had food from a lot of different cultures (Chinese, Thai, Indian, European, Cuban, Jamaican, Italian, Irish, and many others) but one of the short list I've never had is authentic African food. I'll have to find a place and put that on the list, right after I give Korean and Vietnamese a shot. Finished my book, Heart Of The Comet. I guess it being co-authored by Gregory Benford helped to temper Brin's tendency to piss me off as a reader. Or maybe it's just that it was published before he started getting a hard-on from flipping the reader off. In any case, it was a very satisfying read.State Of Mind: drained What's Playing: ZZ Top - Keep My Heart In A Rage |
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Work.... was.
Watched Fargo last night, then promptly went to bed after that was over. Slept a decent amount for the first time in quite a few days.
Bored out of my mind today, even though it was busy for a Sunday. Just... dull, and the spots between the dull were peppered with annoyance.
My phone got stuck in a reset loop today. So for the last few hours of the night, I didn't even have that to entertain me. Hard reset it after I got home, and restored the few things that had changed since the last hotsync. Didn't take too long, but it was pretty annoying
There's still something wrong with it, however. I suspect the problem lies in the browser's settings, since that's usually the app I'm using when it resets itself. Also, I found out why I can't open links in messages anymore. It has to do with the default browser not being set.
I think I'm going to fuck with it a little more tomorrow, which is one of my days off this week. I might back shit up, do another hard reset, and then see what's different. Might be a Blazer (browser) setting that's been over-ridden that can be fixed. If not, I might just start installing stuff from scratch. Probably would lead to a more stable device, too.
Read a bit more about the Palm Pre. I'm looking forward to upgrading my device, but not until I can be assured of there being software to replace all the things I do with mine.
No word yet from Fal on the parts from him for the server (new RAM). I'm waiting on him for those, and until I get them... don't hold your breath as to it's reliability.
Word on Target is that seasonal BTS/BTC hiring starts in early June, so that's when I'm going to apply there again.
Found (and promptly bought from the drawer) a dollar bill from 1963 in surprisingly good shape. 99% of the ones we see on a daily basis are from either 2003 or 2006. This one caught my eye because the ink on the back was a slightly different shade of green, and the scrollwork was slightly more intricate.
I hate Mondays. This is going to suck.
State Of Mind: rushed What's Playing: Crossbreed - Severed |
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Slept in until around 5PM. Woke up, massive headache that only abates slightly as the day progresses, despite massive fluid intake. Try to watch Matchstick Men, only to be unable to sit still for it. Sit at desk and play with computer, go back to movie.
Isn't my life exciting? They should make a movie out of it.State Of Mind:  blah |
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Not enough sleep last night. Or the night before. Work sucked, had to take caffeine pills and an energy drink just to make the day feel like it wasn't dragging on to the end of eternity.
Was mulling over some unpleasant things in my head while at work. And we were so slow, I had plenty of time to do so.
Some dumbass pushed a sixpack of beer back into the cooler, and all the bottles broke. I didn't notice right away where the beery smell was coming from, because the pile of Corona was so fuckin' huge. I hate that smell. It's nasty.
Got pulled over by a cop on my way home, for the first time ever. Apparently, I cut the light too close. I was going through the intersection as it was turning red, as I was turning onto BB Downs. He let me go with a warning to be more cautious at lights. I'm kind of annoyed that I got singled out for this, when I've seen people doing far more flagrantly dangerous and stupid things on the road. But I kept my wits about me and was polite and quiet with the cop. Probably why I just got warned. If I'd said my piece, I'm sure he could have written me up for running a red. Which I'm sure I could have fought and won in court, but who wants to deal with that shit if you can avoid it?
Perfect end to a shitty day.
The Syracuse update is coming (within the next couple of days) as well as the update for the "missing days" of this past Wednesday & Thursday.
That's all for now. Time to get a full night's sleep.State Of Mind: stressed What's Playing: Live - Heaven |
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Work fucking sucked. More than it should have for the six hours and change that I was there.
We had a very high proportion of people giving us flak about getting carded, more so than usual, and more loudly. Seemed like I caught most of them today, too. Lucky me. People suck.
Posted some stuff to LJ while at work. About the phone and liter pricing. Look a few below this.
Traffic was stunningly bad on the way home, despite being non-existent on the way in. Stop and go for a good five miles. Very frustrating. Didn't get home until after 10PM, in spite of having left at 9:20.
Didn't really get much done after I got home. Downloaded the last part of the new Red Dwarf series and watched it. Had dinner, responded to some stuff on LJ, facebook, and a few other things.
Think I've finally worked the kinks out of LoudTwitter. If it behaves properly tomorrow, I'll know for sure.
Need to get to bed, I'm going to feel enough like crap in the morning as it is.State Of Mind: drained |
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Sunday was the usual ho-hum, broken only from it's typical monotony by closing with Mike (our former 3rd key who left us almost two months ago) instead of Matt. That was interesting. Traded stories with him for a while.
Slept badly and little Sunday night / Monday morning. Had to get up early Monday for the truck. Boo. I like truck days, but I hate the close/open regimen. I'm too old for that shit.
Got home Monday evening, and fell asleep on the couch less than hour after getting in the door. Slept until 12:45PM the next day. I guess I needed it.
Looking forward to my chiropractor today, and have to take the car in for the parking brake tomorrow. Wonderful use of days off I'd much rather use to relax and unwind, or spend lying on Clearwater beach. Sometimes I'd almost swear life conspires against me.
Trip update to come. Was going to do it tonight, but got distracted, and it's late. Should have that sometime tomorrow.State Of Mind: tired What's Playing: Metallica - Whiskey In The Jar |
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I really need to upgrade the server. I was checking dates, and the BIOS was last updated in 2001. I've had that KT7A motherboard since 1999, I think. A decade old. It's time for a new mobo.
Defragging and backing up the desktop. Looks like it's not going to finish before I go to bed. So, I'll be offline for a while, maybe all of tomorrow.
Speaking of going to bed, I'm going to be going to bed early tonight. Going to try to catch up on the massive pile of sleep debt I brought back with me from Syracuse.
Larger update to come when I get a chance. Hopefully within a couple of days.State Of Mind: tired |
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Ugh!
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Feb. 23rd, 2009 @ 02:41 am
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I fell asleep during tonight's Bond movie (Thunderball) from about 10PM until 1AM or so. I get up to set the alarms, coffee-maker, etc, and then go back to sleep in my bed, which is much better for my back and neck.
I've been lying there for 40 minutes wide awake consumed with worry about my car, money, my life in general, buying a home. My mind racing a thousand miles an hour.State Of Mind: worried What's Playing: Apoptygma Berzerk - Until The End Of The World |
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I went to bed early (for me) last night in the hopes that it would be easier to get up and make some phone calls on some apartments I found on craigslist that night. It didn't work out quite like that. I went to sleep around 2:30AM planning to wake up some time between 10AM and noon. I didn't get up until after 1PM, and then couldn't keep my eyes open. After lying on the couch drifting in and out of consciousness, I went back to bed, ultimately sleeping until 5PM.
So much for doing anything about moving. At least until next Wednesday. I miss that about working overnight. If I needed to do something during normal business hours, I just stayed up a bit and did it then.State Of Mind: disappointed What's Playing: Grace Slick & The Great Society - Sally Go Round The Roses |
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I've been kind of delinquent with both this and being reachable by IM lately. My sleep patterns have gotten even more erratic than usual, leading to me passing out on the couch while eating dinner a couple of times this week, only to wake at 1-2AM and putter around for a few hours (primarily because there are a few things I need to do to get ready for work, but then I can't go right back to sleep after having taken care of those).
Also, after having taken a break on the music again, I picked it back up again tonight. The end is nearing. Only a handful more loose, then it's on to the massive Grateful Dead and Johnny Cash discographies, and from there, the final task... the 206 disc complete Bach set.
Even after having gotten the larger iPod (160GB now) I still find myself feeling it's inadequate in some ways. I have 292Gb of music so far, and that's growing as I finish fixing the tags on the ones in the "todo" folder.State Of Mind: tired What's Playing: Queen - Seven Seas Of Rhye... |
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